An open letter to Johns Hopkins Federal Credit Union

You and I are done.

You've served me well over the last 15 years. I used you the whole time I lived in Baltimore. You helped me find a good deal on a car. I was able to direct deposit into my account, even when I moved to PA. But now we're done.

It all started with accessing my online account. I thought I knew my password, but I was wrong. Unlike any other financial institution I deal with, you won't give me a new one after I answer security questions, or call to verify personal information. No, I need to have you mail it to me. But see, that's a problem. Because I just moved to this apartment. So I'm in a Catch .22--I can't access my account without a change of address, and I can't change my address without accessing my account. Or so your rep tells me on the phone.

So I have a change of address mailed to me (God forbid you can e-mail it). Send it in. Wait 8 weeks. Nothing.

When I called last week, oops, that tiny font at the bottom said I needed to send a copy of my driver's license. But it has to be mailed. Or faxed. Oh wait, no it doesn't. I can scan and e-mail. Fabulous. I do so, and I wait.

I call a few days later. Nope, no one has seen the e-mail. But the helpful woman (first time that happened) said I can send it directly to her, and she'll call when it gets there. I do so, and hear nothing.

I call the next day. The no-so-helpful woman says I can't e-mail it. I tell her that 2 people have said I could. She said her supervisor says no. I get the supervisor on the phone. She promises to talk to the Assistant Branch Manager and she'll call me back. Calls back and decides yes, I can e-mail it. So I sent it to a THIRD person!!!

At this point I give up, print out a new form (because now they can e-mail it to me, when before it had to be mailed) with yet another new address (since we're moving on Thursday) and a photocopy of my ID.

Today I get a call from someone at JHFCU. "We just need you to e-mail me a copy of your driver's license."

Are you freaking kidding me????????

I told whomever was on the phone that he can just rip up that change of address, I'm sending a new one, and they had better get their act together. Because J and I have decided they do their banking the abacus way with how this has been handled.

Oh, apparently I can close my account without going to a branch. Or so they tell me today. God knows what their answer will be next week.